For you, new and popular

An edit of newly added resources and those proving consistently popular among our partners' teams.
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eCourse: Mastering Delegation
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eCourse: Making Time
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eCourse: Get SET with your Goals
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Perspectives on privilege, with Abi Adamson
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Neurodivergent Perspectives Lexi Keegan in conversation with Dr Anne Cockayne low
Neurodivergent Perspectives. Lexi Keegan in conversation with Dr. Anne Cockayne
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Neurodiversity know-how: The Spiky Profile explained
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Neurodiversity explained with Dr Anne Cockayne low
Neurodiversity explained, with Dr. Anne Cockayne
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Neuroinclusion at work: Thinking about adjustments
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Neurodiversity know-how. Autism with Dr. Anne Cockayne
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Neurodiversity know-how. ADHD with Dr. Anne Cockayne
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Neurodiversity know-how. Dyslexia with Dr. Anne Cockayne
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Micro-learning: Setting Better Boundaries
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eCourse: Practicing a Coaching Approach
Meetings
Finding fortitude, and follow on experiments
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eCourse: Conscious Inclusion
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Seven things to avoid when writing at work
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Share genuinely useful feedback with the BID model
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Solve problems before they happen with pre-mortems
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Five tactics for influencing those more senior
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Five powerful questions for adding impact and insight to your next interview.
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Try out the CAR technique, and upgrade your understanding when interviewing someone.
Good Qs
Smart ways to frame questions in your next mentoring session
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Try the 5 Whys to invigorate your problem solving and add depth to your decisions.
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Course Pack: Effective Allyship, with Abi Adamson
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Course Pack: Voice Gym. Building your vocal confidence
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A three minute mindset exercise, to support a coaching approach
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Try this deep listening exercise for deeper connection and better conversations
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Experiment with the BRAIN model for confident decision making and problem solving
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Discover the impact a five minute favour can have on your relationships, and network building
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Homework for Life: A ten-second daily ritual for noticing, capturing and practicing stories
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Course Pack: Storytelling
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Practical storytelling principles from Bobette Buster's book — Do: Story
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Evolve your 'inner mentor' — a short reflective exercise to focus your development, and the ways you can better support others
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Experiment with a Springboard Story to communicate your change idea, and take people with you towards it.
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Course Pack: Natural Networking
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Tone Policing - What it is, why it's unhelpful and how to helpfully notice it.
Coaching Criticism
Find the Coaching in Criticism. Things to try when feedback doesn't quite land
4 Ds
The 4Ds. A practical framework for acknowledging microaggressions
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Mindful breathing — the foundation of focus and flow
Fly
Channel that fly on the wall. Try some purposeful self talk to mitigate moments of doubt
Friction
Add some friction to your most common distractions
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Build belief by recognising small wins — Try a 'Done List'
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Make your next meeting a Silent Meeting
Can If Go
Immediately build your confidence, with a 'Can-If' statement
To Think
Don't forget to diarise thinking time — experiment with a 'To Think' list
Setback
Smarten your approach to setbacks, by trying out a Setback Story
CLAP
Get clear on control with a Clarity Clap
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Everything I Know about Life I Learned from PowerPoint — What we learned and where it led...
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How to be a meaningful mentor, insights from a purposeful podcast
If Then New
Design (and share) your If > Then statements, for a purposefully prompt towards action
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Practice the principles of persuasion from 'Godfather of Influence,' Robert Cialdini.
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Six steps for finding focus and flow, with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in mind
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Course Pack: Making Time
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Great questions to ask in coaching conversations, 1-1's and other curious contexts

Channel that fly on the wall. Try some purposeful self talk to mitigate moments of doubt

Get some powerful perspective at moments of self-doubt, by trying out this simple ‘distancing’ technique. It’s encouraged by psychologist and author of Chatter Ethan Kross, and expanded upon by Helen Tupper and Sarah Ellis in their book You Coach You. Here’s how you can use it.
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Get some distance

As psychologist Ethan Kross puts it, the voice in our head can be a “helpful superpower,” or a “destructive kryptonite.” Self-affirmative thoughts spark self-belief, while negative ones inspire insecurity and inaction.

When your self-belief is challenged, talking to yourself in the third-person - a ‘Fly-on-the-wall,’ as Helen and Sarah memorably name their approach in You Coach You - helps you to think objectively, distance yourself from doubts and clear your mind.

So the next time you experience a workplace setback or an out-of-office obstacle, take five minutes to experiment with this perspective shifting approach, and gauge its effect on your faith.

A useful example from Helen and Sarah

The experience: In a meeting, my manager didn’t agree with my proposal for a new project

👎 Unhelpful first-person self-talk: "This is all my fault, I’m so frustrated with myself, I’m not smart enough to be doing this job, I’m a failure."

👍 Helpful fly-on-the-wall self-talk: "In the team meeting, Sarah’s manager agreed with her ideas but felt this wasn’t the right time to pursue the project given other team priorities. Other team members also shared their support for Sarah’s ideas, and they were particularly interested in concept A."

Saying your name — a related tactic

Ethan Kross begins his book Chatter by describing an incident where his inner voice unhelpfully got the better of him; convincing him that a stalker was on the verge of breaking into his house. The tactic he deployed to take back control was to simply talk to himself in the third person, and calmly make the case for some perspective in the moment.

It’s a tactic that Helen and Sarah build on in You Coach You, sharing some helpful examples — both for saying your own name, or alternatively using ‘You’ rather than ‘I’.

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Examples from You Coach You — by Sarah Ellis and Helen Tupper

Note: When Ethan joined a live You Can Now session to explore these ideas, he reassured us that you don’t need to talk to yourself out loud! (although he does choose to do so himself sometimes).

🤔 Helpful coaching questions

Fly-on-the-wall self-talk doesn’t necessarily solve your underlying problem, but it can put a stop to the pessimistic, black or white thinking that clouds our judgement.

And Helen and Sarah recommend asking yourself these ‘Coach Yourself Questions’ when experimenting with the approach.

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When, recently, has your inner-critic overcome your inner-coach?
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What did your first-person self-talk sound like?
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What would the ‘fly-on-the-wall’ say?

Keen to dig deeper?

• Try a ‘Done List,’ another tool from You Coach You, for building self-belief.

• Want more science backed tools for rediscovering your resilience? Sign up for our punchy and purposeful Rethinking Resilience workshop.

In this bitesize video Coach and Trainer Catherine Allison introduces the concept of the inner coach and inner critic (and now to turn the latter down).

More Resources